Shadow of Death
by Risa McDohl
Summary: Suikoden II; Riou's life after one of the bad Sui2 endings. Dear god shoot me. JowyxRiou.


**Title:** Shadow of Death

**Author:** Risa

**Pairing:** Riou/Jowy

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer:** Not mine, don't bug me.

**Word Count:** ~2400

**Summary:** Riou's life after one of the bad Sui2 endings. Dear god shoot me.

**A/N:** Forgive me. Gut-wrenching angst is well out of my comfort zone, moreso than smut is. This may or may not be terrible, I don't know, but it is my take on how godawful I find the imperfect endings to this game (Angst kills me. I'm a five year old that prefers happy endings, even really cheesy and unrealistic ones.) There may or may not be a hurt/comfort Tir/Riou counterpart to this. Enjoy!

Another day has dawned. Another venture into monotony. Riou is stiff. His muscles ache as he rises with the sun. It is always the same.

The war between the city state and Highland is long over. It has been over a year. Life is going on around Riou. Survivors of the devastation build shops and homes upon the ashes. Those that govern the surrounding cities come to him for guidance. He always has answers, because the answers he has always make sense. These answers were the key to the Dunan Army's victory. He paid a hefty price for having these answers.

Everything dear to him is gone. His grandfather is gone. Nanami is gone. Jowy is gone. He is the only one left. The rune he bears is a testament to his victory, but moreso it is a testament to his loss. This rune granted Jowy and himself power. He was a fool to assume the role of rune bearer. A fool to assume that he could handle such power. He won the war for the city state as a result, but the price he paid for power was too great. He had to live with that for eternity.

Unfortunately that isn't even the tip of the iceberg. It isn't just the death of his dearest loved ones hanging on his heart. Within the Black Sword Rune are memories of its previous host. Coupled with the power of the White Shield Rune Riou can access these memories. They become his memories.

Jowy lives within him. He is made aware of this whenever he is tired, weak, or preoccupied. Essentially he is made aware of this each and every day, some more than others. It is maddening to see Jowy and himself walking toward their respective halves of the Sword and Shield. Their thoughts are identical. It is a moment in time where Riou is made most aware of his feelings for Jowy, and Jowy aware as well. They are a unit. Yet they become separated.

Jowy has an intense need to make things right in Highland. He struggles with which path he should choose. The last thing he wants is to leave Riou, Nanami, and Pilika. He wants to stay and protect them. At the same time, being an outsider is just unbearable. He cannot stand to be a traitor to his beloved Highland. He cannot. He weeps when no one can see. His thoughts are a torrent of conflict. His smiles are always fake.

Riou knew that Jowy burned inside, but he could not anticipate what that blaze would lead to at the time. He was a fool.

Ultimately Jowy choses Highland. Luca Blight sees Jowy's strength. He is outnumbered, especially after telling his friend to get away. Would anything have changed had Riou stayed? It did no good to question his decision now, for the only thing it would serve to do is cause him despair. He had enough of that on his plate.

In any case, Jowy fights off many soldiers. In order to do so he resorts to the use of his rune. Bad choice. Seed, Culgan, and Luca stand back and observe his desperation, their intentions unclear. Jowy is weak and weary after its use, and does not have enough strength to get away. He faints, and the next thing he knows he wakes up in a tent with one doctor telling three soldiers to give Jowy some space. Luca naturally took orders from no one, shoves the doctor aside, and wastes no time with his new subject.

"You're no pig, but I have half a mind to slaughter you like one for littering my camp with bodies," said Luca, laughing maniacally. Jowy tenses and clamps his eyes tight. He is prepared for the worst, which only makes Luca's laughter louder, disturbing the survivors that the doctor is tending to.

"Relax. I'm in a good mood today, so listen carefully, and don't say a damn word or I'll gut you and mount your head on the highest point of Kyaro town for all to see, hu-ha-ha!"

Jowy swallows, his pulse racing, fear boiling in his every vein. His ears are wide open and his throat is petrified.

"I want you in my army. I could use a man like you. Your honor would be restored. Your charge of treason pardoned. Your strength outweighs any past grievances."

Jowy is still listening. He doesn't like it. There is no man in this world he despises more than Luca Blight, but one way to defeat him certainly would be to keep him close. He would not swear allegiance to Luca Blight, but to Highland. Highland is all that matters. Highland. The only people waiting for him back in Jowstone are Riou, Nanami, and Pilika. Once Luca and Jowstone are out of the picture he intends to allow the three of them back. He is already formulating this in his head. It is idealistic, foolish, but if anyone can pull it off it is Jowy.

With little hesitation Jowy gives Luca three timid nods. His fate is sealed.

"Good. I'll give you until the end of the month to kill Lady Annabel of Muse City. You have to prove your loyalty somehow. I'm sure even your feeble little mind can grasp just how dead you are if you defy me.

"Now get up and get out! You're not to speak a word of this to any of those Jowstone pigs, or I'll make good on my threat to end your miserable little life."

Jowy's retreat is hasty. Seed and Culgan bow to him upon his exit and offer him Medicine for the trip back. He takes one quick shot, gags, and trudges on. Once away from the camp his face is flooded with tears. They are a mix of relief and remorse. He is alive. He is welcome back to Highland. He is... alive. At the same time, he has become a pawn of the most sinister man alive, and sooner or later he would be breaking the hearts of the three people he cherishes the most. Perhaps for his weakness he doesn't deserve their friendship, though.

Jowy falls to his knees and cries openly. His head and his heart are pounding simultaneously. Riou had never seen him so broken, not even during the final moments where Riou accepted the Black Sword rune from Jowy. If anything Jowy was freed from everything he had to tackle. There was much he did have to tackle. Part of Riou had always known that it was something like this that caused his friend to leave him, and leave him forever. It was this decision that lead Jowy down a dark and dismal path. Also, it was this decision that lead Jowy to believe that his own heart was corrupt and evil, when that couldn't be further from the truth.

These were the feelings Jowy had that Riou found the most maddening. That his beloved friend found himself to be evil, thus unworthy to turn away from what he had started. If only he had said something. Instead he left.

Jowy has plotted exactly how Luca Blight is going to fall. Everyone in the end plays a part in the act Jowy has written for them. The war does not end with Luca's life, though. That is only the half of it. Highland is the most superior nation in the world, and they would not be subdued by Jowstone. Jowy and the rest of his people fear the worst, so the war must go on.

In all of this time, though Riou was the leader of the very army that caused Highland's fall, Jowy never sees Riou as his enemy. All he wants is for Riou to flee, perhaps live his life as a refugee in the Toran Republic where he himself developed good relations. They would have taken him in. For whatever reason, though, Riou will not abandon the city state. Jowy just doesn't understand it, and no matter how he tries and tries and tries again he simply cannot connect Riou with Jowstone. It never made sense to him. He never can raise a sword to his dear friend. In fact, he mostly helps Riou. That leads to Highland's eventual fall. He could not choose Highland over Riou, and Riou never thought of choosing Jowstone over Jowy. He only did what he thought would bring peace to both nations, and he was right.

"You're always right," whispers Jowy, leaning against the stone where he and Riou made their promise. Their paths are no longer deviated, yet it is Riou's job to take his life. No one else has that right, so he hides until Riou comes. He can feel Riou's presence through his rune. The rune has grown weary of its unworthy host; weary of being separated from its shield. All is well, as Jowy had grown weary of this failed path he has chosen. All that is left for him is to die in peace.

When he and Riou reunite he just cannot convince his friend to fight him. He comes at Riou as aggressively as his war worn body permits, but it does no good. He knocks Riou toward the edge of the cliff, the piercing sound of the rapids enveloping their worlds. Tears are coursing down Riou's face. He is desperately pleading with Jowy, asking him to stop this, telling him it will all be all right, though that is plainly not the case. The Black Sword rune is eating away Jowy's life, demanding it be given to a new host. Riou can feel the tug in his own rune. They would combine, and Jowy would die. It just couldn't be.

"I can't do that," said Riou, clutching Jowy for dear life. "I can't. I can't kill you. I can't."

"You must. There is nothing left in me."

"Jowy."

Riou embraces his friend and chokes. He can see Genkaku dying, then Nanami. It is happening again, and to the only person in this world he has left. This is wrong. Whatever it is that severed them is wrong. The world is messed up. Nothing good will come of what has to be done. Riou would be the host of a true rune, left to live with this ache for all of eternity. He wouldn't get to spend a waking moment of his immortality with anyone he loved. He wouldn't get to grow old with anyone. He would probably never smile again. It was all so brutal, but Jowy isn't going anywhere for at least a couple of moments longer.

"This isn't right. We got mixed up in so much, fighting for what we believed in, and for what? What were we fighting for? I don't even know anymore. Why couldn't we be together?"

"Riou... "

"NO! I've thought about you nonstop. I missed you. It hurt. You hurt me when you left, and you hurt Nanami and Pilika, too. Did you ever think of me? Did you ever think of how I felt when you teamed up with Luca?"

"It was the only way I could stop him... "

"You could have stayed with me. We would have found a way. I know you missed Highland and Kyaro Town, but look at what getting involved with the Blight family did to you. Look at what it did to us."

Riou leans his forehead to Jowy's and continues to weep, letting every ounce of pain he has suffered at Jowy's expense be known.

"What a waste. Now you're dying, and I can't do anything to save you."

"No, but you can save the nation," said Jowy, touching his hand to Riou's. They both flinch when the runes react. One way or another, the two would be reunited. There is a dull beckoning in the far reaches of Riou's mind. It has been persisting for awhile, but only now can he fully hear it.

"You helped me so much. I always believed in you. I always thought of you, and I always will."

Riou laces his rune hand with Jowy's and kissed him. There is nothing to lose. His shredded heart is bare and open. The energy flowing through him is raw and merciless. Jowy can only hang in so long before he falls, and his eyes are open and clear and loving. He is his old self for his final seconds, asking Riou to take care of himself, and not to grieve so much. Life is full of beauty. He can start over. He doesn't need a dark shadow looming around him any longer.

"You're not a shadow, or evil, a Blight, or anything, damn it. You're Jowy, my Jowy, and no matter what you've done, what you say or think I'll always love you."

Jowy's eyes fall shut, death claiming him before he can respond. In those final moments Jowy's thoughts are shrouded in mystery, seeing as the Dark Sword rune is fully immersed into its new vessel.

That's all Riou is, a vessel, and he feels as such. He is a hollow shell of the person he once was. His every smile is fake. His every duty is automatic. His life is nothing more than holding on to this rune that torments him with Jowy's past thoughts and feelings. They could have been together. Jowy had many thoughts of love for Riou as well. There are many memories, some of which are personal and make Riou's cheeks flare, others that fill him with sadness. He writes many of them in volumes of personal logs, for the sake of preservation and revelation. Riou will not allow history to tarnish, or forget Jowy, and he will not allow the world to make light of the sacrifice they made for this nation.

END


End file.
